Day 28……
I want to take some responsibility with the back chat i experience in the job…..and the trigger point for me was Money …..I spoke with someone ..and found out about someone in need…and people gather together money for this person…..,so I had this thought about how much money I made and how hard I have to work now…physically…(I do not want to go to details now).
I had also realization in comparison how easy I spend money before this job ( I used to have not this hard job…I mean physically not that hard …).Because I used to make money with less sacrifice ,it was more easy for Me to spend money on anything or anybody….,
I see now how I change ,because of this one point….
Like now ,because I really feel the physical tiredness after work ….I am not that freely spend money….
and I really do not like this feeling …,were I have to count every penny I made it…..
From this point I went very quick , to judge my job,to compare ,to blame and so on….and on…and with every thoughts I stir up with me more anger ,disappointments ,judgments…..so with this some self forgiveness statements and responsibility :
1.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to judge my job now in comparison ,what I experience before,not realizing that in this physical reality nothing is guarantee …..i mean one time you have a job…next you are out …..
2.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to judge the feelings I used to have in past job….,which is silly ,because now I have different responsibility …..
3.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to continue with my back chat about people I work with ….about how not fair is this ….not accepting that this is what we create …not fair life and not fair jobs….
4.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to separate me from responsibility about, be part of this existence ,physical existence ,…but want to play the victim card ….that something is done to me ,on me ….
5.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to not see, that this is a job …,which I am doing now , and I am supporting myself to survive in this world ,to sustain my physicality in this world, but
this does not require to judge the job.
6.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself ,because of
allowing this back chat to existed ,I lost the common sense and perspective on things ….and want to take it everything personally.
7. I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to be angry at system ,at people ,at me ,not want to stop this ,…instead look for resolution…and spend time on this point….,not on countless
judgments .
8.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to miss the point were I did not have to count my money …,were I spend money easy ,with no hard sacrifice ….
9.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to not want to accept my reality of now… of today ,it is what it is…and lets do the
best I can do it.
10 .I commit myself to stop this game of comparison in my mind about what was ,and used common sense of what is here now .
11.I commit myself the moment I realize I want to compare something what was in the past ..to stop ,breath and move myself
in this physical reality of now
12 .I commit myself to be here in physical reality ,to move with breath .
thank you for reading!!
